LADIES THIS IS FOR YOU SEE 15 THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN THE PERSON YOU WILL MARRY

I am not one of those people. Don’t f*cking cheat on me, or I’ll break up with you… And then cut off your balls because I assume you have none in order to do that to a person. (Smiles.)

16. Displays intelligence


Smart people don’t suck. They also offer insightful advice and help you make good choices. Your spouse doesn’t have to be a college graduate. We’re referring to the kind of partner who innately possesses that brand of sage intelligence.

17. Appeases your attraction (whatever that means to you)
Because you’re going to be spending the better part of your life with this person, it’s mildly crucial that you also feel connected to him or her. I happen to be fond of older, hairy men. And I’m pretty sure that sounds attractive to no one but myself.

18. Partakes in various hobbies
They don’t have to be the same hobbies as yours (see #8 ‘Compromises’), so long as your partner has other ways of fulfilling him or herself, aside from banging you and then cuddling on repeat. Whether that means frequenting museums or watching viral videos, your partner should have other interests outside of your relationship.

onus points if by “hobby,” you also mean “grubbing.”

19. Shares in your vision for the future

Hopefully you’re both in it.

20. Delivers unconditional love

Unconditional love is kind of like the Olive Garden: When you’re there, you’re family.